Prism
by SomeKindOfRomance
Summary: [COMPLETE]Stan likes Kyle. Kyle likes Stan. After one passionate, but awkward night, they decide to make themselves unavailable to save the friendship. What they don't realize is that they're building a wall of sexual tension that rivals the Great Wall
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

_welcome to the wonderful world of Stan_

* * *

Laura, Carmen, Bethany, Red, Millie, Bebe, Alice... The list goes on forever. These fine specimen of young ladies are all my exes. The relationships didn't last more than a few months, the longest one being with Bebe for 2 and a half months.

Of course I can get all the ladies I want, I mean they're practically lining up around the corner for me. One might say I have the cream of the crop, the pick of the litter, grade A fine ass meat. Most of my friends are jealous because half the sudent body.. of women.. flock to me. And am I happy about that? Absolutely not.

Now don't get me wrong, I do enjoy the attention. I feel significant, worthy of hallway presence. It's just that I'm not getting the kind of attention that I want.

You're probably thinking I'm crazy, I mean yea, any teenage boy with as much libido as I have should be out screwing all these chicks. Truth is, I am completely and totally sexually frustrated. Sure I give myself a "hand", but it's not to the thought of all these ladies. I'm actually kind of creeped out by the fact that I have to fantasize about my fellow football players to get the job done. I feel dirty afterwards and of course I can't look at them for at least a day after I help myself, but I guess a guys gotta do what a guys gotta do.

Let me tell you a little about myself, now that we've established how lovely my reputation is. My name is Stanley "Stan the Man" Marsh. I'm an 18 year old football player who enjoys sarcasm, arm wrestling and beating old people up.. ha, just kidding about the last one.

I have my own little clique of friends consisting of my other half, one Mr. Kyle Broflovski, Kenny McKormick and Eric Cartman. They are really awesome. I've been around them ever since before we all sprouted our pubes. It's good to have them too. They all have great senses of humor, which is very beneficial to me, seeing as how i'm in a bitchy mood a lot of the time lately.

Kyle Broflovski. What can I say? The only jew in town, the smartest jew in town, the cutest jew... uh um lately I'm trying to force myself to not think of him in that way, so it wont be awkward. Good thing I caught myself. Kyle in essence is the backbone of our group. He is a very moral person and he makes us feel guilty for some of the stupid shit that we do. He's Mr. Logic if you will, never without a plan or an answer. He has saved my ass so many times. I probably owe him my life, and my first 2 children.. although it's very unlikely that I will have them.. heh. considering my fruitful discoveries of my sexuality.

Kenny McKormick is a poor ass motherfucker. I love that bastard to death. He is the more cultured of the group. Where did I learn what dildo means? Kenny. Lesbian? Kenny. The feeling of a wonderful orgasm.. Stan.. stop, get a hold of yourself. You see what I have to deal with here? God dammit. Moving along..

Eric Cartman the FATTEST ASS you will ever have the displeasure of meeting. He is rude, racist, a homophobe, an anti-semite, hell you throw anything that could possibly crappy into a blender with some lard, and there ya go, Eric Theodore Cartman. And no, there will be no sexual slippings of the tongue about him. I think about him to make my "meaty stan," flacid.

So we, the guys mainly spend our time lighting cow shit on fire, pissing on buildings, throwing rocks at cars, prank calling City Wok, watching porn, beating the shit out of eachother, oh man the list of things goes on. I am always entertained with these guys, sometimes a little too entertained.. Oh God there I go again.

So I fantasize about my best friends, I mean if you saw them, you'd be whacking it to the thought of them too. We are a group of good looking guys, I must admit, Cartman is pretty attrative as well, minus the 2 tons hanging off his body. Kenny is always suggesting that we all do a porno together.. Ohhh Kenny if you only knew how willling.. wait stop Stan.

Kenny is a complete perv. He has sex with anything. It's actually quite amazing. I'm sure he would get into the guinness book for being the biggest whore, if they had that category that is. I would definatly consider, you know.. but I don't wanna get herpes or whatever the fuck he has, also, no one really knows that I'm of the other persuasion, although it's gonna come out pretty soon, because I know a few good men who would like to toss my football around, and wow I really do need it too.

Clyde and Token are both bi, i've caught them both looking at me. This really encourages "meaty stan." Aw man both of them together... wow. Ok, I'm gonna think about that for awhile now, beat the meat.. not that you needed to know. I'll catch up with you later.


	2. Wendy McBitch

**Eventual Slash...Story might switch forms to other people's POV's and third person format.**

**1.Good day**

School fucking sucked today! I cannot believe how slowly the day went. Wendy was nagging me again, she's always trying to act "sexy" and trying to get in my pants. Christ even if I weren't gay, I would definately not go for that beast. It's not like she's not attractive or anything, because she is gorgeous, but she is a major bitch! She makes all of my friends feel inferior, and she tries to make it seem like I have no purpose on earth other than to please her. She always wants me hanging around her and little group of sluts. No thanks!

Anyway, Wendy came up to me today while I was in lunch and she sat down in my lap. I immediately questioned her motives, as did everyone around.

"Sup bitch?" Kyle greeted.

"Don't call me a bitch."

"Whatever. I don't think Stan wants to talk to you right now."

"I think Stan can tell me that himself, if he thinks that's the case."

Now this was the awesome part. I looked right up in her face and said "yep, that is the case." Oh man she looked like she was going to have a hernia. I kinda feel bad too, but I shouldn't, after all it is Wendy. So she left in a huff and all the guys were laughing. It was very funny, might I add.

After lunch Kyle and I went back to our chem class and did our usual passing of notes and throwing pieces of paper into Bebe's hair. So much stuff gets stuck in her hair, she doesn't even notice.. she needs a little frizz control I guess.

Things were going smooth and grand until the principle called me down to his office. I thought it must've been a joke, because I hadn't even vandalized anything in at least 3 days, but when I got there I knew it was no joke.

Wendy McBitch was seated in a chair outside of the office and she snickered at me as I went inside.

"Mr. Marsh, have a seat."

"Uh sir.. why am I down here?"

"Oh don't tell me you don't know.

"Yes really, I don't."

"I heard about the incident in the cafeteria today. Wendy told me all about it and I must sa-"

"Dude I just told her not to bother me, I know she doesn't like to look stupid in front of people and I did give her huge ego a roundhouse kick to the face but-"

"Who do you think you are interrupting me like that Marsh! Now you and I both know that that isn't why you are down here. What you did can seriously damage you Stanley."

"Please tell me what I did then, geez!"

"You made some lewd remarks to Miss Testaburger. I have a list."

1. "Hey baby, there must be a keg in your pants because I would like to tap that ass."

I couldn't help but chuckle to myself at the way he was reading this shit, he sounded like a machine or some kind of screwy robot.

2. "Baby I'm going to make you be my love buffet so I can lay you on the table and take all I want."

3. "You must work at subway, because you just gave me a footlong."

It was at this point when I started to laugh hysterically. "Dude I would never say anything as lame as that! and out of everyone to sexually harass in the school, I would not pick Wendy."

I heard a "You jerk!" come from the hallway.. frigid bitch must've heard.

"Anyway sir, I have a bunch of people who can vouch for me. I did nothing." I leaned in close for a whisper. "And you and I both know that Wendy has a LOT of problems, she's mental dude, can we just let this slide?"

"Ah why the heck not. You'd better bring home the championship though MR. QB."

"On my list of things to do sir."

"Oh and Mr. Marsh?"

"Yes?"

"Get the hell out of my office!"

"Duly noted sir."

Goddamn, what a jackass.

I went back to class and wrote Kyle a note explaining how extrememly desperate Wendy was.

_Dude, she had the principal call me down right? So I get down there and i guess she's told him that I'd been sexually harassing her. He read a couple of lame ass pick up lines off of a piece of paper. Dude it was classic.. what a fucking nut she is._

I crumpled the note up and tossed it to him. I glanced over at him while he was reading. He was getting a pretty good kick out of it. He soon returned the note.

_She needs to get laid Stan. Just take one for the team._

I looked over at him and flicked him off, and started to scribble down another message.

_I can't because I'm gay you gaywad!_

I looked down at the message and thought for a second. I hadn't come out yet, so this wouldn't make any sense to him, so I chose to reword it.

_I'll turn gay before I do that gaywad!_

It was to some extent true. No?


	3. Ménage à Trois Anyone?

**Yet Another Day**

**(Tuesday)**

Something quite interesting happened today. I was walking down the hallway and all of the sudden I felt someone pull me behind the stairwell, it was Kyle. He looked panicked and was out of breath.

"Dude you ok," I asked him.

"No. I-I." He stopped as a few kids ran up the stairs, and then continued when they were out of earshot. "Clyde.. Token.. Man they just came up to me and asked me i-if..."

"What!"

"They asked me if I wanted to be in a Ménage-à-Trois."

I blinked at him confusedly. "Dude I don't speak German."

"No dumbass, it's french and it means..." He glanced around nervously before locking eyes with me. "I-it means a threesome."

"Holy shit dude! What did you say!"

"I said I'd think about it?" I looked at him horrified. "Dude I don't think i'm.. I mean I'm not a fruit, I just didn't want to offend them."

OK this is me jealous. WHAT THE HELL ABOUT ME? "My Meaty Stan has needs. Clyde, Token, what the fuck? Why not me? I mean come on! Look at this!"

After I finished my little mental tantrum I looked back at Kyle.

"Stan.. uh. What the hell is 'meaty stan?'"

I looked at him questioningly. "Come again?"

"Dude you spaced out and you looked pretty pissed and then said quote unquote My Meaty Stan has needs. Clyde, Token, what the fuck? Why not me? I mean come on! Look at this!"

OH SHIT. There's something you oughta know about yours truly. I have a habit of thinking out loud sometimes, and no It's not talking to myself!

"Stan? What did you mean?"

"Jesus Kyle. Haven't you ever named your 'fireman?'"

"Uh.."

"Well that's what I call mine."

"Dude!"

"Oh come on everyone gives their fireman a name!"

"No dude, you have your choice of any hot chick in this school.. Hell you can probably get them anywhere, you'll be fulfilling both your needs and their desires... I mean come on man, who doesn't want you?" He looked down at his feet and started to blush.

Come again? "Huh?"

"Uh.."

"Is there something you're trying to tell me, because you know Kyle," I gave him a playful wink. He thought I was teasing. His face became as red as his hair.

"No dude the question is 'is there something YOU'RE trying to tell me?"

"Kyle I once read in this book, that almost every person in the world has homosexual tendencies."

"What.. Kenny's journal?"

"No dude stay with me on this one. It was in some kind of book about human nature and shit."

"So you're trying to tell me you have homosexual tendencies?"

"Uh.. not.. n-not tendencies."

"Dude you're gay!"

"Christ Kyle shut up!" luckily nobody was around. "Not so loud."

"Sorry. Man so that's why.. well that explains a whole lot."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"Stan, you turn down 'grade A' choice ass. You don't think there's something homo like about that?"

"Uh.." I looked at him as he squeezed my shoulder.

"Dude I gotta go."

"Wait.. Kyle.. You're not weirded out?"

"No dude... after all you said everyone has homosexual tendencies no?" He gave me a playful wink and ruffled my hair.

"You? Y-you have these tendencies?"

"I might.. I'll uh show you later."

Come again? "What?"

"Nothing," He said smiling, just before turning out of the stairwell to go to class.

Holy shit.. I learn something new about my friends everyday.. I hope to learn more about Kyle.. like what size... DAMMIT there I go again..


	4. A Saturday Night of House Festivities

**I think this chapter is the best of all my fanfics :-) I am proud. Flame me if you want, I don't care because I love it! Thanks to my reviewers for ecouraging me to continue :-)**

**A Saturday Night of House Festivities**

"Fags. You're all a bunch of God damn fags."

"Cartman, I think you're just insecure about your own sexuality. Everytime you insult us with your 'fag' comments and we burn you back, you get all defensive and huffy."

"I do not, you poor piece of shit!"

I looked over at Kenny. God I loved that kid. He was always giving Cartman the shit he deserved, and he was right. Cartman did always get defensive when we dished it back to him.

"Listen up Cartman, I have the house to myself tonight. I am not going to let you ruin this for me. We are going to have fun no matter what, and if that means you have to leave, then so be it! And even if wewe're all gay, what would make you think we'd have sex with you?"

"GOD DAMMIT STAN! Kenny fucks everyone. I'm sure he'd have sex with me."

"Dude, i'd resort to beastiality before even giving you a thought."

"AY!"

I looked over at Kyle as he rolled his eyes. I was getting pretty fed up too, I just wanted to have a good time.

"If you guys can't get along leave."

They both fell silent.

"Ok, now my friends, the question is.. What do we do tonight? I was thinking about ordering a pizza, a little Mortal Kombat... maybe go throw a bunch of tennis balls at the side of Butters' house..." I chuckled to myself. We had some pretty awesome times scaring the shit out of Butters. We actually had him thinking that there were monsters living in his well, and the noise on the side of his house was them, furious with him. Geez what a gullible kid. I remember he asked us if there was anyway to make them leave him alone, so we did what anyother warm blooded teens would do to a gullible little shit..

_"Butters.. It's quite simple actually... If you have the right tools."_

_"W-w-whaddya mean fellas?"_

_"It's simple Butters. The monsters in your well want you to apologize to them. It is only when you make peace that they will leave you alone, until you piss them off again. What you wanna do is wear a color that doesn't offend them, so you can get close enough for your apology."_

_"What colors d-don't offend them?"_

_"Not colors Butters.. Color, and It's pink. Everything has to be pink and skin tight. They get hungry at the sight of anything remotely baggy, and of course with your physique, you wont have a hard time wearing spandex."_

_"O-ok. Spandex. My dad has plenty. Then what?"_

_"You want to serenade the monsters. You would only do this by playing Enya. They love Enya, oh and while you play the music, you have to do an interpretive dance."_

_"B-b-but f-fellas, the well's near the street people will see_ _me doing this."_

_"Butters.. do you want to be tormented by them for the rest of your life?"_

_"W-well no."_

_"Then do it!"_

_"a-alrighty then."_

That poor boy. He did it. He sported pink spandex and did an interpretive dance around the well to "Enya," all the while apologizing profusely. We got this all on tape.. We plan to air it during the senior slideshow this year. Oh man that will be classic.

I snapped back to attention when something poked my arm.

"Ew Cartman get your feet off of me!" I yelled at him.

"See Cartman it's not just me that gets grossed out by your corn infested feet."

"AY KENNY SHUT UP YOU POOR PIECE OF CRAP!"

"Hello guys? Last time I checked we were still deciding on what to do tonight."

"Kyle's right," i said with a serious 'i'm not fucking around' tone. "What's it gonna be guys?"

Kenny looked up at me slyly. "A party?"

"No Kenny, you know I can't have a party at my house. It'd get way out of hand. any other plans?"

"A party?"

"God dammit Cartman what did I just say! Is there such a thing as cooperation with you guys? Kyle what's it gonna be?"

I saw Kyle walk over to the window, he turned around wide eyed. "A party?"

"Christ Kyle did you even lis-"

"Stan, dude.. That's more of a statement than it is a request."

I walked over to the window to see what Kyle was fussing about. My jaw dropped 3 feet.

"CARTMAN WHY IS HALF OF THE STUDENT FUCKING BODY OUTSIDE MY HOUSE!"

"Well, hippie, first of all this was Kenny's idea, and second, they are waiting to come in the house."

"God dammit." I looked to the ground in defeat. I couldn't send all those people home, just because my parents wouldn't know. That would definately make me a pussy.

I opened up the door and people poured in. I must've heard close to a thousand 'hey Stan what's up dude's.' My living room was beginning to be filled with more 6 packs than people. This was going to be a long ass night of people puking and trying to have sex in my parent's bed. I quietly braced myself and walked over to Kenny and Cartman.

"You guys are helping me clean this tomorrow morning. And don't say no, because I will have your balls in a vice."

Cartman gulped. He knew I was serious. Kenny snickered before pinching some girl's ass and chasing after her.

I looked over to Cartman who was now clutching his stomach. "Dude I'm hungry."

"So go drink some damn beer fatass! There's enough after all." He listened to me and waddled over to get a beer.

After awhile of chasing after drunk people with plastic knives and potpourri bags, I felt something wet on my leg. I looked down at my new khaki pants. What the hell! There was beer all over them. I muttered a big 'What the fuck' before heading to my room to change my pants. I didn't even bother to close the door behind me, seeing as how half the people were too drunk to even find my room.

I sifted through my pants drawer. Nothing. Just great, I hadn't done laundry in close to 3 weeks. "That's what you get you dumb fuck," I found myself saying to myself. I know before I said I didn't talk to myself, but yea... I lied.

I slunk down in defeat on my bed, welcoming the comfort of the soft cottony sheets and the fluffy velvet pillow. I was very comfortable so I decided I would stay like that for awhile and let the drunks pass themselves out.

I had just started to fall asleep when I felt my bed shake. I kept my eyes closed and I could feel hot breath on my neck.

"Stan?" came a whisper. "What are you doing in here all alone?"

I rolled over on my back to come face to face with Kenny.

"Oh hey Ken," I said tiredly.

"Dude, Kyle's freaking out Cartman said some shit that sent him over the edge."

"Oh jesus," I said. "I'm coming."

Kenny led me out of my room and over to the hallway, where a furious Kyle was beating the crap out of a drunken Cartman.

"GODDAMN JEW-FAG!"

"I'll kill you Cartman!" Kyle screamed.

"Guys STOP." I looked over to the sofa where a couple were making out profusely and clothes were starting to come off. I started to walk over and I stepped in my mother's potted plant that had been knocked over, leaving the ground littered with dirt and shattered bits of flower pot. This was enough to send me over the edge.

"EVERYONE OUT NOW," I screamed. I started shoving people out the door. I picked up the now naked couple's clothes and threw them out the window. "Fetch," I yelled.

I started going through the rooms and sure enough people were having sex on my parent's bed. "GET THE FUCK OUT NOW!"

They all gave me weird looks and started mumbling profanities as they filed out of my house. I finally scoured the rest of my home. Everyone was gone, and they took all the beer with them, thank God.

I walked back to where Cartman layed bloodied on the floor. "Dude, what'd you do?" I asked him.

"I pointed out to Kyle that he's a fag.. a jew fag, then I poured beer down his shirt and pushed him into that flower pot over there."

"Cartman get the fuck out of my house." I looked at him angrily. The drunk slowly got to his feet and sauntered out the door.

"I'll make sure he gets home ok," a slightly sober Kenny offered as he ran after Cartman. "I'll see you guys tomorrow."

"Bye," I croaked weakly. I was so glad that was finally over. I made a note to myself then and there that Kenny and Cartman would not know about anymore parentless nights.

I shut off a bunch of lights and locked the doors before heading back into my room. I was surprised to see Kyle on my bed.

"Are you ok?" I asked.

"Yea, Cartman just took it too far this time."

"I know. He told me."

"Dude, I'm not even drunk, and I let that shit get to me. I beat up a drunk person. He didn't even have a chance."

"Well he got what he deserved."

"Yea, I guess you're right. Where is everybody?"

"I'm surprised you didn't hear me yell. I kicked them all out. I don't care if they call me a pussy on monday."

"Good for you," Kyle whispered, his eyes shut. "Stan? Come lay down with me?"

I looked over to my shirtless friend and then over to his shirt with the beer stain all over it. "Dude I'm gonna put your shirt in the washer."

I bent down to pick it up, and when I turned around, Kyle was just inches from my face.

"Stan, I don't care about my shirt, really."

Why was I so nervous? I felt 'Meaty Stan' growing, so I picked up my pants off the floor as well and ran to the washer. "I'll be right there Kyle, I have to put my pants in too." Just as I opened the lid to the washer, it closed. I turned around to see Kyle grinning playfully. He pushed me up against the cold wall, goosebumps invaded my flesh.

"Stan, remember that talk we had on tuesday?"

"Y-yea," I stuttered.

"Well.."

Kyle leaned in close to me and brought his hands up to my face, pulling it close. even in the dark I could see those gorgeous emerald eyes. I licked my lips in anticipation and within a second, Kyle's lips were pressed against mine. I moaned softly as he ficked the roof of my mouth with his tongue.

I ran my hands down his bare chest, which caused him to shudder. He pulled away and gave me this look. This innocently hot look. It was then that I decided this was going to be a sleepover that Kyle would never forget. I picked him up and put him on top of the washing machine. My hands carressed his face and neck as I started to kiss him up and down. "S-stan," he moaned.

I had never heard him say my name like that before. 'Meaty Stan's ears perked as soon as he heard this.

"Oh geez Stan," Kyle whispered. He looked down to the bulge in my boxers. "I-I want to."

"What?" I asked softly.

He got down off the washer and led me by the hand back to my room, where he preceeded to throw me down on my bed.

"I want to..."

He got down on the bed next to me and started to slip off my boxers, all the while kissing my neck.

"You know exactly what I want to do," he panted.

He ran his fingers softly down my stomach to my happy trail, causing me to shudder uncontrollably. His hands gently grabbed ahold of my thighs, and almost immediately, I felt his mouth on me. I watched as his full head of luscious red curls bobbed up and down, each time creating more pleasure for me. It felt so good. "K-kyle," I moaned. He started to move faster. Kyle I'm gonna come. He almost immediately took his mouth off of me.

"What the hell are you doing Kyle? Please oh god please finish me off." The little bastartd smiled an evil smirk.

"I love to see you beg Stan."

He brought his fingertips to my head and started to caress it, before putting it back into his soft mouth.

"You're such aaaaaaa--aaa Oh God KYLE!"

I came in his mouth and he swallowed every last bit. He brought his face up to mine.

"I'm such a what?"

I smiled. "Bastard. My turn now."


	5. Sunday According to Kyle

**Sunday According to Kyle**

Ok, let's run through the sanity checklist again shall we? I have gone over this thousands of times in my head, but it's not going to sink in for awhile, so I might as well bombard my mind with more unattainable answers.

I was sober last night at Stan's house. S-O-B-E-R, sober, and yet somehow we managed to fool around... quite a lot. We both sucked eachother's.. yea. So I am a bit uncomfortable right now. I know that Stan said that every person has some homosexual tendencies, but damn now that I've just experienced it, I kinda wanna get some girl... any girl.. to seem like a man again. I really did enjoy it last night, I mean Stan was so awesome and I have never felt that.. good before, but I can't be gay. I just can't. I worked hard proving my straightness to everyone and I've dated some pretty cute chicks. I don't know.. these recent events just seem to have me upside down.

You wanna know something stupid? I started it all. I sat on his bed, asked him to lay down with me and then I followed him into the laundryroom until I got my way. I'm just really curious why I did that. Maybe when Stan told me he was gay, that gave me a greenlight? But no, I don't want to take advantage of friends. This is so much to think about. I wonder what Stan thinks about yesterday.

Shit, I hope he doesn't like me now. That would complicate a few things, perhaps set back our friendship. All I can think of is our convo behind the stairs on tuesday. He really wanted to be a part of that Token and Clyde deal. Maybe I should tell them that he's interested. That would lessen the pressure on me and I could continue on with my otherwise straight lifestyle. It probably sounds much more simpler than it should, but if I want to be happy and if I want Stan to be happy, I have to make sure he has someone, right?

Oh God this is so confusing. I probably wouldn't be so freaked out if it hadn't been for this morning... the aftermath of the sexcapade.

Seeing as how neither of us drank anything the previous night and we were both hangover free, we had to get up and get the entire house cleaned before the Marshes were to arrive home. I should've known that it would be awkward. I woke up to Stan's smiling face, just inches away from mine. I was in his arms for God's sake. If you had been there and you didn't know any better, you would think that we were an item.

So anyways, I got freaked out by this loving hold he had on me and I immediately sprung out of his bed, only to realize that low and behold, I had no clothing on down south. I glanced over to a chuckling Stan. He obviously thought this was funny.

"You looking for something?"

"Yea Stan! My pants Goddammit!"

"Dude, chill, they're in the dryer. They should be done."

I turned to him and smiled curtly. "Thanks," I said as I slipped out his door.

I don't think I have ever put my pants on that fast in my life. When Stan came in and saw me rushing around madly I think he was afraid something was up.

"Dude. this is about last night isn't it?"

"What do you mean?" I asked innocently.

"You wont even look at me. I-I mean you seem just so damn uncomfortable."

"Stan. I fucked my best friend last night. Say that to yourself, and then you'll realize the whole magnanimity of the concept."

"You're right. I guess that is kinda weird." He nodded his head in approval. "Well I guess we'd better get this baby cleaned up huh?"

"Yea, sure Stan."

While I was cleaning I kept glancing over at him a few times. He really did look upset, like he had gotten his heart broken.. and that my friends, is why I think Stan has feelings for me. I mean I like him too.. not like that... at least I don't think.. which is why I'm going to find him a great guy, and then if he does like me, he'll forget all about it, and we can both continue our lives.

The only question is... _Who_?


	6. Stan's Brief Interlude

**yea, I know, it's short, but it is an interlude. I really enjoy feedback, and thanks to people who continue to review :-)**

**Stan's Brief Interlude...(The Thickening Plot)**

My phone has been ringing off the goddamned hook all day. It seems like the whole gay population of school wants a piece of me. I must've been asked out on at least 3 dates in the past hour. Since when did it become this obvious that I was.. gay? I mean no one knows that anything happened between Kyle and I unless he advertised it, which I highly doubt. Kyle hates attention. Ahhhhh here I go thinking about Kyle again.

I think he knows that I like him. I mean, how could he not? Oh well, he made it quite clear to me this morning when we were cleaning, that he wasn't interested. He didn't come out and say that or anything, but I could just tell. He wanted the hell out of my house.

I could feel it. Things were in fact awkward, so I let him go an hour earlier than I should have. It was just too damn uncomfortable and because of it, my parents came home to a messy house. I didn't tell him that I got in trouble though. He would've felt bad for leaving earlier than he had too, even though I practically made him.

I only see one logical answer to all of this madness. Kyle wont be comfortable around me until I have someone, and he knows I don't like him anymore. I'll just have to take up some of these offers i've been recieving. I can't promise I'll stop having feelings for Kyle, but at least he wont be uncomfortable anymore. Because of that, it's in my nature to put him first.

Ok so now that I know what i'm going to do, let's look over the list of gentlemen callers.

I've recieved calls from, Clyde, Token, Kevin, Dog Poo, Pip, Craig, and Tweek (the whole gay/bi population of student boys.)

Now to start narrowing down the choices... Craig and Tweek recently split up about 2 weeks ago. I don't want to be someone's rebound, so they're both out.

Pip.. Well Pip is a little too wussy for me, although I guess that would mean that I would wear the pants in the relationship. But still.. No Pip. He's too nice.

Dog Poo.. Now there's a laugh.. moving along..

Clyde and Token are last. I would definately consider them. I want both, but I want a relationship. If I have a relationship, Kyle wont feel so uneasy about the fact that i'm single. Who knows? By pretending I'm in love, I might actually fall in love, which would be both beneficial to me, my significant other and Kyle.

Clyde Donovan's pretty hot. He's got a great body and red is definately his color. His eyes.. I could stare into them all day, i mean they're a great shade of brown. Let's see.. Clyde is an intellectual and he cares highly about others.

I feel like this is a fucking school project. I'm making lists and summaries. God I frighten myself sometimes.

I think i'll give Clyde a try first. I've always wondered what it'd be like to... Oh Geez! I can't let my mind wander off now, I'm on a mission!

Now all i've got to do is give him a call, and then... and then hopefully I can fix the awkwardness between Kyle and I.


	7. Passing Tests and Dating Cloken

**Passing Tests and Dating "Cloken"**

I was relieved when Kyle picked me up 15 minutes late on monday. Why you ask? Because I thought he wasn't going to show.

I hopped into the car with a gruff, seating myself next to Kenny. This was Cartman's day to have the front seat.

"So now that you are all here," Kenny began, "I can share with you the most awesome news."

We all looked at him blandly, him grinning like an idiot. After realizing that we were soon to lose interest he started again. "I Kenneth McKormick passed."

"Bullshit Kenny, you never pass anything," Cartman barked.

"I passed five out of five tests."

"Uh cool Kenny," I said realizing he was starting to frown.

"No you guys don't get it. What is the first thing you think when you see me?"

I looked over him, quipped with a wise ass comment. "Damn that kid has a shitload of STDs!"

He looked over at me serious and then a smile spread across his face. "Bingo."

Kyle looked in his rearview mirror at Kenny, obviously annoyed. "So?"

"So, I went to the doctors and took some tests. You will all be happy to know that I, Kenny McKormick have zero.. I repeat zero STDs."

The car became hideously silent. None of us knew how to react to such news. I mean talking about whether or not you have STDs isn't exactly a typical conversation.

Kenny cleared his throat and was the first to break the silence. "Just thought I'd let you all know.. You know.. just in case any of you.. you know.. wanted to have a sleepover, excluding Cartman that is."

"AY KENNY!"

We all laughed. I looked up into the rearview mirror and caught eyes with Kyle. It was definately awkward. This was an appropriate time to start operation "Clyde or Token."

I fiddled around with my cell phone in my pocket until I got the ring tone to preview. I pulled out the phone and looked at it with surprise.

"Looks like someone's calling me." I put the phone next to my ear, ready to start a pretend conversation. It was either Clyde or Token, and I chose..

"Cloken, well hello!" SHIT. Nice choice dummy.

Cartman turned around laughing. "Who the fuck is Cloken?"

I willed myself not to freak out and instead I returned to my "phone call."

"Sorry Clyde, for some reason I thought you were Token... Oh haha I know... I don't think so... Wow I really like you too Clyde... a maccarroni picture! You made me one! How sweet!"

Where in the hell was I going with this?

"Ok well I'll see you in school cutie."

I flipped the phone shut and wiped the sweat that had collected on my forehead. I am the worst actor ever.

"So you and Clyde huh?"

I looked over at Kyle who was now sporting a smile. I knew this would work! Things wont be awkward!

"Yes. Clyde. He has so much to offer."

I started to lose myself in thought. The car came to a sudden halt. We were parked in the lot.

"Ok get out bitches," Kyle demanded.

We all hopped out of the car. I glanced sideways to see Clyde locking the door of his toyota corolla. Shit. Kyle and Cartman had already run over to him. I followed suit.

"Maccarroni pictures huh Clyde?" Kyle mocked.

"Uh what?"

"You don't have to beat around the bush," Cartman said through a smile. "We were in the car with Stan when he was on the phone with you."

"What? I wasn't on the-"

I coughed really loudly so that Clyde would look at me, and then I ran my tongue across my teeth seductivly. Things were going to go according to my plan.. they just had to.

"Uh..." Clyde obviously liked this. "Yea maccaroni phones."

I chuckled and took him by the hand as we walked into school. The plan had commenced.


	8. PDA in Study Hall

**PDA in Study Hall**

"Hey Stan.. Clyde. What's going on guys?"

Kyle walked up to us during study hall and invited himself to a sitdown.

"Nothing really, we're just discussing possible date destinations." I looked over at Clyde, gave him a little wink and pinched his leg. He smiled, obviously loving the new kind of attention being directed towards him.

"I'm glad you two are together. If there has to be anyone with Stan, then I'd rather it be you Clyde."

"Aw thanks Kyle. I'm glad that I have your approval," Clyde giggled. He was so cute when he giggled, not cuter than Kyle but...

I found my eyes wandering up to the freckles on Kyle's nose. He looked over at me, a little uncomfortable, so I decided to take the pressure off of him. I pulled Clyde's face into my hands and gave him a nice passionate kiss.

"What the hell was that for?" Clyde asked, bewildered.

"Do I need a reason? Can you believe this guy Kyle? Questioning kisses from his boyfriend?" I looked over at Kyle he looked even more uncomfortable. What did I do? I guess I would have to take it further. I looked back into Clyde's eyes and slipped my hand up his shirt all the while winking at him. He giggled nervously.

"Stan, not in study hall."

I looked over at Kyle. "Well I'm sure Kyle doesn't mind." He looked like he did mind though, for he looked the most uncomfortable I had ever seen him. Oh well, maybe I could stand to tone down the PDA a little bit. I backed off of Clyde.

"You're right. Later babe," I said in a seductive tone.

"Well guys, I'm gonna go over to sit with Bebe. She's kinda my new love interest."

I looked over at Kyle with confusion. "Bebe?"

"Yes."

"Bebe as in 'we throw papers in her hair during chem class' Bebe?"

"Yup. We're gonna have to stop that now dude, if things are gonna work out in my favor."

"What exactly is in your favor?"

"Look I gotta go before she sits somewhere else. I catch you guys around." He got up in a quick hurry and went over to Bebe's table. I watched as he flirted his ass off. Was I feeling jealous? Well duh! Of course I was, after all I do love the guy.. but.. but I have to stick to plan.

I looked over at Clyde and slipped my hands under the table, slowly moving them up his leg. He twitched a little in discomfort before relaxing. I squeezed his upper thigh with a grin and slid my hands to his belt buckle. His face was priceless.

My hands were now in his pants and I started to feel his hard on, when I forced myself to stop. 'Study hall, study hall, not your bedroom,' I thought to myself.

If it had been Kyle I probably would've-

God dammit, I just need to shut the fuck up about Kyle already. I looked over to where he was sitting. His arms were now around Bebe and he was whispering something in her ear. Boy was I jealous.

I couldn't stand to watch it after awhile, so I took Clyde's hand and led him outside to where the cars were parked.

I needed to get my mind off of Kyle, really bad.

I followed Clyde to his tan corrolla and slipped into the tiny backseat with him.

"Stan Marsh, do you know how long i've wanted you for?"

"No Clyde.. Do show me."

He took his hand and brushed it against my cheek, before pulling my face close to his.

"Alright, I'll show you."

His hand slid up my shirt and he started to rub my chest gently. His soft mouth pressed up against mine, and I could feel his breath on my skin. His kisses were tender and deep, passionate and slow. I could feel myself growing harder with every stroke of his tongue. I pulled away.

"Damn Clyde, where'd you learn to kiss like that?"

"Natural instinct. That's not the only good thing that I can do with my mouth though, you know.."

"Oh yea? Show me."

He layed me out across the backseat and squeezed himself ontop of me, wrapping my legs around his torso. He gently brought his hands down my stomach, caressing each and every inch of it. I moaned softly as his hand started to slowly rub my inner thigh. I looked into his gorgeous brown eyes as he unbuckled my pants, and slowly slid them down. He gave me a sly look before bringing his head down to where I couldn't see. I closed my eyes and waited to feel his mouth, and oh, there it was. It was so tender and warm, and his tongue.. Oh God. I could feel my eyes roll back in my head in ecstacy as I started to moan. "Ccclyde..." he noticed he was doing a good job, so he started to vary his pace. His mouth closed more tightly around and he started to move up and down faster. I felt all hot like I was going to explode.. "Ohh Kyle," I moaned.. "Yes that's it Clyde." He teased me by slowing down, and almost stopping just as I was about to come. I didn't beg though, like I had done with Kyle. He finished and brought his face up to my forehead, kissing it gently.

"You liked that huh?"

"mhhmmm.." I nodded.

He gave me one last kiss before sitting up, allowing me to do my pants.

"You know... You said Kyle's name, when you were about to come. It must've been an accident or something though? because you almost immediately fixed it."

SHIT. "I don't know why I would've said his name.." I lied. " I was probably just thinking about how I was gonna get home. Kyle takes me."

"You were thinking about how you were gonna get home, just as you were about to come?" Clyde asked with a lopsided smile. "Oh you are one in a million. I'll let it slide."

"After you see what I can do with my mouth.. You'll be letting a lot of things slide."

He giggled at my comment.

Study hall was almost over, so we headed back inside. I looked for Kyle as soon as we got back, but he wasn't there. Clyde noticed I was looking.

"He probably went to do what we did."

"With Bebe!"

"Yea.. you sound surprised.."

"Oh uh.. no."

I was such a hypocrite. I had just recieved a blowjob, and I was mad at Kyle for possibly screwing Bebe?

I must've spaced out for a good 5 minutes, when I heard Bebe's giggling voice enter the room. She was followed by a smiling Kyle, who now sported a massive hicky. I gasped at the sight of this.

He caught me looking at him. I immediately pulled Clyde close to me and started to wage a war of tongues. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Kyle scowl. Was he perhaps jealous? Haha, I wish. I pulled away from Clyde to find that Bebe and Kyle had left the room.

Clyde looked pretty confused, so I planted a sweet kiss on his cheek right as the bell rang.

"Am I taking you home tonight?"

"Oh uh.. um sure."

He looked discouraged. "Well I guess you could go with Kyle and Bebe, but they'll probably be sucking face the entire way home."

This was true. I didn't feel the need to see that anyways. I clearly still wanted Kyle.

"Yea, I'll come home with you.." I smiled a half smile as we walked out of the room hand in hand.


	9. Ignoring the Subconsious

yea it's short.. for good reason though. 

**Ignoring the Subconsious**

Ok, I was about ready to vomit today when they were all over eachother in study hall. Who does he think he is anyways, trying to show off in front of everyone like that?

I feel so damn bad for Clyde. I forgot that Stan was a huge fan of PDA, which is rather disgusting. I felt dirty enough just whispering in Bebe's ear, but he had to go on down Clyde's throat like that, and what the hell? He dissappeared too! God only knows what they were doing. I hope they didn't do anything. Ha. I'm such a hypocrite.. I got a very nice blowjob from Bebe out in the parking lot and.. What would it matter to me if they did anything? I was the one who wanted this. I'm just concerned for his well being is all. Yea.. concerned.

God dammit. I'm thinking too much about him. Why? I have Bebe, and let me tell you, she is wonderful. She has a great body, a good sense of humor and not to mention lips that could bring an 80 year old viagra-depraved man to climax. Ugh.

Bebe mentioned something to me about a double date. I don't know If I'll be able to take it. If they're doing that in study hall, I can only imagine what they'll do beyond the limits of school. I know I should've said something, but I probably would've come off as jealous, and I don't want that. If I seem jealous, they all will know something's up. What the hell am I talking about.. there is nothing I have to hide. I am with Bebe the frizzy haired hottie and it seems like it's really gonna go somewhere. I think I'm ready for that.. a relationship that is.

_I wonder if Stan gets grossed out by others sucking face in public._

I think I'll ask her to prom. I can sense that we'll still be together by then.

_If Stan wants to play hardball, then I'm game._

She'll look really beautiful.

_If he's gonna give a show of affection to everyone, then I am going to as well.._

I hope she wears red.. It's a good color on her.

_...give him a taste of his own medicine._

* * *

I really don't get Kyle. He wont talk to me. Maybe I shouldn't have displayed so much affection towards Clyde.. but it's hard not to. Clyde is so adorable. He's sweet too. After he drove me home today, I invited him into the house. He offered to help my mother with some dishes. Man that scored some points with her. When I come out to her, I think she'll be glad to know that I'm with Clyde. He is so sensitive and yet so strong and manly. That's a huuuge turn on, let me tell you.

My mom was so impressed that she invited Clyde to dinner. When we were sitting together and eating, everything seemed so perfect. He made my family laugh.. even Shelly. What more can I ask for in a boyfriend? I think I could fall in love.

_I wonder what Kyle would think about that._

A relationship like this would certainly last a long time.

_Bebe invited us on a double date, so I guess we'll see then._

I can't complain about that.. I mean, i'd get to stare into those honey colored eyes all day...

_I can see it now... Me giving Clyde a small peck on the cheek and Kyle's face turning red._

.. holding onto his hands.. skin so soft..

_Kyle isn't a fan for a love display I guess.._

.. a voice so deep and rich..

_But who cares? I'm going to make him jealous._

.. makes me shudder with pleasure everytime he whispers into my ear..

_Wait.. I didn't mean jealous.._

Yes. I can definately see a relationship.

_I meant uncomfortable. If he can't be around us even for the witnessing of a small peck, then he's going to have to learn to get over it. I'll even tell him so._

The double date is on friday. I'm going to wear that shirt that Clyde likes.


	10. Two Very Stupid Boys

**Thanks to all my reviewers :-) I titled the chapter the way I did, because Stan and Kyle are in fact being two very stupid boys.**

****

**Two Very Stupid Boys**

Kyle seemed a little more uptight today. We had a lab in chem class, and we were partnered together, as always. The only time he really spoke to me was when he was barking out orders.

"Ok so now you're gonna add the HCl into the larger test tube, and then wait for the reaction. And when it starts foaming," Kyle gestured his hands around to other classmates and their foaming test tubes before continuing, "You will pick it up with the tongs and then dump it into the beaker."

"Easy enough."

"Yea so don't screw it up. I need an A."

Kyle was definately too uptight about his grades.

"You could fail this and the next seven labs and _still _be number one in the class rank."

"Haha yes, but if you failed this then you would no longer be on the football team."

He was right. If I dropped below a 2.5 then I would be kicked off. I was currently at a 2.7. Needless to say, I was really pushing it.

"So how are things with you and Clyde?"

"They're alright."

"He's a good guy huh?"

"Of course. I wouldn't be with if he weren't."

"Makes sense. Speak of the devil..."

Clyde approached our lab bench. "Oh talking about me then?"

I gave a slightly ridiculous giggle which made me sound like a giddy little girl, before speaking. "Of course we were. I mean look at you." I pinched one of his muscular arms and he pulled me in for a hug.

"Well I take it they were good things," he said as he winked at me.

"I don't think there is really anything bad I can say about you," I admitted. I looked over at Kyle just in time to see him roll his eyes at my comment. Geez what was up his ass?

"Can we just get back to the lab? We only have 10 minutes left, and we'll still have to clean up our mess, which will take about a good 5 minutes."

"Alright party pooper." I tapped Clyde's ass as he walked away, and turned my gaze to Kyle. "Let's finish this thing I guess."

He looked at me disgustedly. "How can you just openly display your affection like that dude? It's sickening. I mean I wont even do that with Bebe."

"Kyle.. No one else seems to have a problem with it."

"Of course they do! They just don't wanna say anything!"

I was a little surprised by his outburst. Now the whole class was looking at us. I slowly edged away from him.

"Kyle do you have to do this?"

"Do what?" His voice returned back down to normal level.

"Draw so much attention to me."

His voice once again erupted. "You do that all on your own!"

I was starting to get angry. Kyle definately had something up his ass. _You just wait until the double date, you'll get the show of your life. Then you'll be sorry you were ever bitchy about it._

I left the classroom, leaving him to clean up the mess and finish the experiment. I was too embarrassedto spend another minute in that classroom. I could afford to do bad on one lab, as long as I worked my ass off for the rest of the school year.

I took off down the hallway and ran through the doors which led to the outside. I sat myself down on the steps and tried to cool myself down. It was then that I felt a hand on my back.

"Clyde, I'm fine.. I just need to be alone for a minute ok?"

"No. It's Kyle."

"What the fuck do you want?"

"I'm sorry. I-I really shouldn't have acted like that. I was a-"

"An asshole, a complete prick, a bastard?"

"Yes. I-I'm really sorry alright?"

"Yea whatever. I'm sorry about the experiment."

"Clyde helped me finish it up. You know he really isn't a bad guy after all."

"Duh. Kyle he's my boyfriend." It felt fake when I said that. I really didn't picture Clyde as a boyfriend.. more as a placeholder.. a prop.

Kyle held out his hand to me, and helped me to stand up. "You know, I don't do this often, but.. you wanna bail?"

"Kyle I dunno if I can affo-"

"Of course you can afford to, as long as you still have me tutoring you."

"Yea." Kyle had done a lot to save my ass.. especially tutoring.. like I mentioned before, I'd probably owe him my first two children.

"So what do you say?"

I smiled at him, that was all I had to do. We made a break for the car together.

"What do you say we go rent 'Asses of Fire' and watch it at my house?"

"Dude your mom-"

"Isn't home. She went on some kind of field trip with Ike."

"You're mom never used to chaperone shit for you."

"Ike's a pussy. He begged her."

"Oh. Well sure let's go then."

As soon as we pulled into Kyle's driveway after taking 10 minutes to drive to the movie rental store, we both jumped out of the car and made a break for the house.

"I call the green chair!" I loved the Broflovski's green chair. I had practically made it my own. Whenever I was over, my ass belonged to the chair, and Kyle and Ike knew not to take it away from me.. even though it_was_ their chair.

"Dude whatever. That usually goes without saying." He popped the movie into the VCR. "Want anything? Popcorn? Soda?"

"Nah I'm good."

"Ok well I'm just gonna make some popcorn anyways. You'll end up eating it."

He was right. I did eat everything that was put in front of me. I was surprised I wasn't fat. Thank goodness for my fast metabolism I guess.

I heard Kyle scrambling around in the kitchen. I looked over to the screen. The movie was playing, but I just couldn't seem to focus on it. I had too much on my mind to do so.

I thought being with Clyde would make things better between Kyle and I, and they did.. there really wasn't any more awkwardness..but... I still liked him. So whenever Clyde was near, I felt it necessary to shower him with kisses. I didn't want Kyle to think that I was still pining for him.

I continued to dwell on this, even after Kyle had entered the room with the bowl of popcorn. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that things hadn't gotten better since I started dating Clyde. Kyle just seemed like he was.. jealous. I immediately threw this idea out the window, labeling it as wishful thinking. He didn't have anything to be jealous of. In fact, I was the jealous one. I couldn't stand to see him with Bebe. This made me thankful that Kyle wasn't as affectionate in public as I was. I don't know what I would do if I saw them going at it.

Kyle's voice broke through my thoughts. "Are you even watching the movie?"

"Uh what? Yea. It would be a waste of money not too."

Kyle eyed me suspiciously before grabbing a handful of popcorn. I watched him as he shoved it into his mouth. His cheeks looked like a chipmunks, they were stuffed so full of the snack.

I looked down at my feet, looking at my ratty sneakers and losing myself in thought once more.

Maybe I wasn't really trying with Clyde. There was no passion in our relationship and it was my fault. If I was going to get over Kyle, I would have to start meaning it, and be more enthusiastic and passionate. I would have to start acting like a boyfriend.

_'Stop liking Kyle_,' I chanted over and over again in my head.

It wasn't going to be simple but then again nothing in life ever is simple.

I had to get my shit together. Today was thursday, meaning tomorrow would be the double date. I'd have to get my ass in gear.

"Kyle?"

"MM?" he answered with a mouthful of popcorn. Oh God was he cute.

_Stop liking Kyle_ .

"I think I'm going to go over to Clyde's. I didn't tell him I was leaving and he'll probably be worried."

"Dude relax. I didn't mention anything to Bebe and I'm not about to run off to go see her."

"I'll bring the movie back," I offered.

"Dude." He looked upset. I didn't want to hurt him, but spending more time with him meant increasing the feelings I had towards him. Besides I had to get the passion into my relationship if the double date was going to be convincing. I had to remember though, not to display too much affection, otherwise it would make Kyle uncomfortable.

"Let me ok?"

"Alright."

He finished rewinding the movie and put it back in its case before giving it to me to return.

"Don't lose it. I don't wanna pay any fines," he said in a threatening tone.

I picked up the nearest pillow to me and I chucked it at him, playfully. "You worry too damn much."

He picked up the pillow and went to throw it at me but I escaped the house and shut the door.

"HA YOU MISSED!" I shouted at the top of my lungs.

"FUCK YOU," he yelled back playfully.

Oh man, this was going to be hard.. getting over Kyle.

_'stop liking Kyle, stop liking Kyle, stop liking Kyle, stop liking Kyle, stop liking Kyle, stop liking Kyle, stop liking Kyle, stop liking Kyle, stop liking Kyle, stop liking Kyle, stop liking Kyle, stop liking Kyle, stop liking Kyle, stop liking Kyle,'_ dammit I wish my brain would shut up sometimes.

* * *

I am completely fucking jealous. I realized it today when we were doing the chem lab. I watched Stan pinch Clyde's ass and I lost it. It's like a slap in the face everytime I see them do something like that in public. God I just wish I never mentioned anything to Clyde in the first place. Calling all those guys to try and fix Stan up was a big mistake. I was too worried about how it wouldn't be kosher to be with my best friend. Damnit I'm an idiot sometimes.

I hate being with Bebe. She's nice, don't get me wrong, but she is annoying as hell. All I can think about when she's talking to me is that wonderful night I had with Stan. Why the fuck did I have to ruin it by being so awkward? I should've just opened my eyes and returned that loving stare. I should've savored that loving hug he gave to me. Why do I have to be such a shithead? Oh well. The double date is tomorrow. I'd better get used to being with Bebe. Maybe I should try that PDA thing. It seems to be working with Stan. Unfortunately I'm not thinking about trying to make things work. I just want to make him jealous, but god damnit! he likes Clyde so he wont be jealous! Oh well I guess I could still gross him out. Maybe make him uncomfortable by reaching down Bebe's esophagus with my tongue.. haha gross. I can be so evil and calculating sometimes. After that display today though, in chem class, I can't afford to see them do that again. I'll burst. I guess i'll have to fight fire with fire.


	11. Date Preparations

Very short, I know... it's like a prologue to the last chapter.. even if there is no such thing, I just invented it. This will be my first completed fanfic that's more than a oneshot! 

**Date Preparations**

So tonight's the big night I guess. I have no idea what's in store for the double date, I just hope I make it out of there alive. I keep telling myself that so many things _can_ and _will_ go wrong. I have actually made up several different scenarios in my head and I play them out over and over again. I've thought of everything that could possibly go wrong and i've added a solution to each situation. For example:

_**STAN'S FUCKED UP DATE SITUATION #77**_ ( I have at least 150... don't judge.)

Clyde puts arm around Stan in yawning matter. Stan returns affection. Not too much but enough. If Clyde's hand wanders down to meaty, Stan will cough like there's no tomorrow. Clyde will assist Stan by giving him water. Stan will show appreciation. Clyde will then be more focused on the needy Stan, forgetting all about the meaty stan. Kyle won't feel uncomfortable.

**_STAN'S FUCKED UP DATE SITUATION # 111_** (My worst fear.. it'd probably be funny if it happened to someone else though.)

Stan gets lost in thoughts about passionate night with Kyle. Stan finds himself thinking more of these thoughts.. only dirtier. Stan's pants start to tighten. (This is where this situation is broken down into two segmented outcomes. both highly possible)  
A.) Clyde looks down and gets wrong idea. Thinks Stan has a boner for him. Clyde being Clyde reaches down to welcome excited appendage. Stan spills water all over Clyde and Clyde is more focused on getting himself dry. Kyle doesn't feel uncomfortable.  
B.)If this were to happen standing up... **Stan will fall to the ground immediately and hopefully die.**

See.. I'm so nervous. God hates me. _Jesus_ even told me so. Maybe if I had just kept my mouth shut and not worried about whether or not I would get my period, I would have things easier. Stupid, stupid Stan!

Ok so for tonight I have toiled over what I will wear. I have narrowed it down to 12 different outfits. I have them all layed out on my bed. I can't pick one. I'd ask Shelly.. but... I'd rather liquid nitrogen my balls off with a hammer. Geez I'm always getting off topic.. What was I talking about? _Balls.. liquid nitrogen.. Sally Struthers.. hammer... wardrobe_.. that's it.. ensemble. I almost lost myself for a minute there.

So before me I have 12 outfits. I'm not gonna wear blue.. I wear blue alot, so that eliminates 11 outfits. Damn I need more clothes that aren't blue. So that leaves me with a maroon fitted shirt that makes me look _hot_. If I were outside my body I'd probably get a raging boner just looking at myself. Actually I'm not that vain, I just know that i'll look good tonight. Ok.. Maroon shirt, nice dark black jeans, slightly tight in the ass.. that's the style. He's gonna want me so bad tonight! _Who?_ How dare I even ask myself that. Clyde!

Maybe I wouldn't be so nervous today if I hadn'tve gotten that phone call from Kyle...

**Flash back **(in Kyle's POV)

How could I even bring myself to do that? I reached a shaky hand over to my phone and dialed Stan's number. I had to let him know how I felt before I could let this charade go on any longer. I wanted to tell him when he picked up the phone... I wanted to tell him that i've wanted him all along.. that i've just been afraid.. but no. I couldn't do something so simple. I had to fuck it all up and make it complicated. Stan answered his phone on the third ring. He always does.

"Hello?" He sounded so excited.

"Hey Stan.. it's Kyle. Do you have a minute?"

"Uh yea sure. What's up?"

"Uh.. well.. I've been wanting to tell you something for the longest time." I paused for a few seconds. I could hear him swallowing hard on the other end."

"And?" He asked patiently.

"Well, I really really like... y-you-your sense of style. I wanted to know if you'd help me pick out an outfit for tonight." GOD DAMNIT!

He laughed nervously into the phone. "Dude.. I can't even decide what to wear tonight."

There was an awkward pause. I had forgotten to talk. I needed to do this, so I tried again. "Stan?"

"Mm?"

"What I've been meaning to say is that I really want you-r opinion." What in God's name was I talking about?

"Kay.. On what?"

Shit... What? I really didn't know what to say, and by that point I had totally chickened out. I tried to play it cool and tried to give some nice excuse to hang up, but instead of saying something like.. "Dude I need to change the oil on my car," or "Dude I'm gonna go lift some weights," I said "Dude, I need to iron my jeans."

"HAHAHAHA," Stan erupted into a fit of laughter. "You iron your jeans? You're so gay!"

That got me pissed. "Hey dickhole, _I'm_ the one with the girlfriend remember?" I hung up angrily. Oh how I wished I could've told him.

* * *

**I have been planning for weeks how this double date is going to play out.. If you like lust.. stay tuned.**


	12. Double Date

My first ever completed multi-chapter fanfic

**Double Date**

Clyde picked me up around 7:30, and let me tell you, he was looking damn fine. This might be easier than I thought. He took me out to the car, where he opened up the door for me. He was such a gentleman I decided. When I got into the car, I noticed Bebe and Kyle were in the back seat. I looked at them questioningly. Why didn't Kyle take his car?

Kyle must've been able to read my thoughts because he answered, "My car broke down."

"That sucks dude."

"Tell me about it."

It really did suck. Not just for him, but for me. He was looking hotter than Clyde. The only thing keeping me off of him was my seatbelt. I looked at him through the side rear view mirror and watched as he pulled Bebe close to him. She nuzzled her head into his shoulder and Kyle smiled a soft and loving smile. My face felt hot. I was certainly jealous. I reached for Clyde's hand and squeezed it gently, looking up at him with loving eyes. "You are too wonderful," I told him. I looked in the rearview mirror to see Kyle's reaction. I saw him roll his eyes. What was his problem? Him and Bebe were cuddling in the back seat. I had my right to give affection as well. I closed my eyes and took deep breaths. I told myself the date was going to go smoother than glass. And I actually believed that, until I heard kissing noises coming from the back seat. Clyde looked in his mirror and laughed. I forced a laugh, just to make it seem like I wasn't jealous. Kyle was such an asshole. He yelled at _me_ for showing my affections in public. Oh, if he does this in the restaurant, I will give it right back to him.

We pulled into the parking lot of Casa Bonita. This was Kyle's choice of restaurant. He loved spicy food. Clyde did too, but it gave him gas. I cringed at the thought of having to sit next to him while he silently passed gas. The car ride home would be painful as well. Bebe and Kyle were in for a surprise. They knew nothing about Clyde's sensitive stomach.

"Well I guess we're here," Kyle announced happily. _Thank you captain obvious._

We all piled out of the car. I watched as Kyle took Bebe's hand into his and kissed it like some romance movie. It was sickening. I put my arm around Clyde, hoping his embrace would cool my nerves. It did nothing of the sort. This was going to be hard.

We were seated almost immediately because Bebe had called earlier and made reservations. Bebe had to do it, otherwise we would've been waiting for a table for a long time. She knew none of us would take the initiative to call the restaurant ourselves.

We studied our menus. I stared blankly at mine. I always got the same thing every time I came here. I guess you can say that when it comes to trying new foods, I'm a tight ass.

"Hellllllllllllllllllllllllllooo, bienvenidos a Casa Bonita el restauranto" I looked up to see a waiter with the most annoying smirk on his face. "I'm Cory and I will be your server tonight. I glanced over at Clyde to see if he was annoyed by this idiot as well. He looked frightened. "Can I start you off with some drinks.. bebidas? This was so annoying. I didn't want a spanish lesson.

"I'll have an orange soda," Kyle announced.

"Oooook.. One soda de naranja." He looked to Bebe.

"May I have water with a lemon?"

"Si.. agua con un limon. And you sir?" He looked to me. I wanted to punch him in the face. He was so goddamn annoying.

"I'll have some lemonade... limonada."

He looked at me a bit hurt, as if I took something special away from him. I laughed to myself.

"And you sir?"

"Uh-uh.. I-I'll have some milk." Why was he so nervous?

"Ok you will have-"

"La leche," I interrupted. This was so fun. I guess I was annoying him just as much. He really liked speaking spanish to us. I decided to keep taking that privelege away from him for the rest of the night.

"I'll be back to take your orders." He walked away in a slouchy depressed sort of manner. What a loser.

I looked over at Clyde, who was chewing on his lip. "Dude are you ok?" I took his head in my hands and looked at him with concern.

"That's my... C-cory's my ex." _Uh-oh._

"How long ago were-"

"We broke up about two weeks ago." Dammit. I was his rebound. "I ended it with him, because he was always talking spanish to me. I never knew what he was saying."

"You don't say," I said casually. "It is pretty annoying. It'll be alright Clyde. I'll show him that you're _mine_ now." So I got to kill two birds with one stone. I could make Kyle feel grossed out, and make the stupid waiter jealous. This was going to be one awesome night. I looked over at Kyle who's lips were now firmly attatched to Bebe's. The nerve of him. He went off on me yesterday. I turned my gaze back to Clyde. I decided that I would make him forget about his ex momentarily. I reached my hand down and gently placed it on his thigh. I started to caress it. He looked over at me a little more relaxed.

Shithead came back with our drinks and I pulled Clyde close to me. I had everyone tell me their orders so I could relay them to Cory in spanish. They all wanted to piss him off as much as I did. Cory looked from me to Clyde, eyes twitching ever so slightly. I planted a kiss on Clyde's head before ordering. "What would you all like tonight?"

_Well, for one, I would like you to die immediately Cory_. "We will have one order of onion rings.. Orden de anillos de cebolla." I wasn't too good at speaking spanish and I kinda half guessed some words, but it was all worth it. "Uh, my _boyfriend_ Clyde would like the Casa Bonita burger.. La Casa Bonita hamburguesa." The moron's face was turning red. "And can I have three orders of the Casa Bonita chicken fingers?" We loved our poultry.

"Oook so three orders of de-"

"Dedos de pollo," I finished quickly. He grit his teeth and stomped off madly. We all started laughing. "See Clyde, we're going to ruin his night." He still looked worried. I had to make him forget. I snaked my hand between his thighs this time, slowly caressing the inside of them. He looked over at me with wide eyes and a slight smile. I then pulled him in close for a passionate kiss, making sure that my tongue could be seen every so often. I looked over at Kyle out of the corner of my eye. He looked disgusted. Good. I stopped kissing him and put my hand under his shirt so I could feel and admire his abs. He closed his eyes and smiled. Things were going perfectly, until I looked over and saw the other couple sucking face. I guess it was on. I ran my hands through Clyde's brown locks and kissed his forehead gently. He looked like he was forgetting. I was doing my job. I could tell I was pissing Kyle off too. He was trying ever so hard to out do my affectionate display. He started kissing Bebe's neck and she gave a very soft but audible moan. I couldn't let him beat me. I couldn't let him make me jealous like that. I leaned over to Clyde and nibbled on his ear. He let out a breath of satisfaction.

Things continued like this until our food came out. I made sure to give a visual make out kiss to Clyde just so Cory could see. Cory stomped off in a huff. "Have a nice meal," he grumbled, back turned to us.

We all started laughing. "You sure did piss him off," Clyde said, looking a little upset.

"That was the plan."

"Yea I guess."

I looked over to Kyle and Bebe to see if they concurred, but they were busy with a fry between their mouths. They both bit down on the ends until their mouths met with a kiss.. just like in that stupid disney movie.. "The Lady's Tramp..." or something like that. I could feel my blood boil. I was too jealous for my own good. This was unhealthy.

"I could just kiss you over and over," Kyle said. "I'd do a little more, but the public eye prohibits it."

"You can do that later," Bebe giggled.

"I intend to." He looked over at me. He was doing this on purpose.. the jerk. I guess he noticed my jealous expression because he started to kiss Bebe again. I couldn't do this. I couldn't be Kyle's friend any longer. Jealousy would soon overtake me, and I couldn't afford for it to put a damper on my life.

I stood up, excusing myself to the mens room. I told myself that I could make it through the night. I just had to. I looked at myself in the mirror and splashed water over my sweat drenched face. "Get a grip on yourself Stan," I said aloud. "Go back out there and don't let things get to you." I followed my advice and walked back to the table.

Kyle noticed that my hair was wet, from splashing my face. "Didja fall in?" He laughed.

"Yea sure whatever." I looked over to Clyde to see him staring at Cory who was serving another table. It was obvious that he still had feelings for Cory. I would have to dump him, because he obviously wanted to be with Cory. He didn't say so. I could just tell. His eyes were longing for the other man. "I'll, give it a week before i'll break it off," I told myself. I kissed him for good measure, feeling sorry, knowing how it felt to want to be with someone else. It was at the moment I kissed him that Kyle stood up, infuriated. He walked over to me and looked me straight in the eye.

"Stan.. I can't be friends with someone as disgusting as you." His voice was harsh and stern. "You gross me out with your sick fucking displays of affection. I tried to give it right back, but I just can't do it anymore. Stan I can't be your friend anymore. It's killing me! He picked me up by my collar. He was amazingly strong for his size. "I can't be your fucking friend, did you hear me?" He threw me down onto the table, getting my clothes messy with food.

"Dude what the fuck are you doing?" I screamed.

"You sicken me Stan. You fucking sicken me!" His hands gripped my collar tightly. "I can't watch you suck face in public. It disturbs me. You're some kind of fucking exhibitionist huh? Well I cant just sit here and watch you practically have sex with your clothes on!" People were starting to stare now. I wanted to get off the table. I could feel ketchup seeping into my maroon shirt. I looked into Kyle's eyes. They weren't angry. They held some other kind of emotion. "I cant let you fucking do this Stan I can't sit here. It hurts too much. I can't hold it in anymore." Was I hearing correctly? Before I had time to say anything Kyle was up on the table, ontop of me, mouth pressed to mine, kissing me wildly. In between kisses he started to explain himself. "I've wanted you... for the... longest... time now... If you're going to... be... doing... this with anybody... in...public... then... it's gonna... be... me."

I could hear a few people screaming, and people were getting up and leaving. Bebe looked unphased. I heard her shout over to Clyde "I knew this was going to happen." Kyle stopped kissing me wildly for a minute.

"Stan, I hope you're not mad... I just-" I pulled him back in for series of kisses.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" The manager of Casa Bonita came up to us yelling. "You have to leave now!" He pulled Kyle and I off the table. I looked over to Clyde with apologetic eyes.

"Thank you Stan." For a minute I thought he was being sarcastic. "You gave me a reason to get back together with Cory." I looked over from Clyde to Cory, both with smiles on their faces. It was ok because we both got what we'd wanted. I stood there, relishing in the glory .. that was until Officer Barbrady showed up.

"Move along people, there's nothing to see here," he said as usual. He came up to Kyle and I. "I'm going to have to take you down to the station. This is not proper public behavior." He led us out to the police car, where he locked us in the back. I didn't care because Kyle and I had eachother now. I leaned over to give him a kiss.

"Not in my car!" Officer Barbrady shouted. We both smiled as we sped off to the station.

When we finally got there, it was apparent that Barbrady wasn't intending on staying. We knew we'd be there for at least a few hours unattended. I saw this as a misfortune. I wanted to go home and ravage Kyle. Kyle seemed amused. He looked at me with a sly smirk.

"What?" I asked, annoyed by his perky mood.

"I have a question."

"Shoot."

"Should you drop the soap, or should I?"

**END**


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